Survey Questions I Answered about Mormon Feminism

So I think the reason I hesitate to blog, is that I want what I write to not be ignorant. So I want it to be well-researched, which, by my standards, would take a few weeks or even months per post. And I don't have time for that. But today I was taking what I thought would be a quick survey about Mormon women, and it triggered a lot of thoughts. I am just going to post the questions and answers to the survey... It might be really boring, sorry, but at least I have it recorded somewhere. Plus it is a subject I wouldn't mind others knowing since it seems really misunderstood sometimes. So without much thinking or editing, I am just going to post it, please judge kindly :) 

PS -  I think how I feel about this can be summed up by a quote I have in my room: 

 It takes independence of mind, honesty of heart, faith in God, firmness of character to live the life of a Latter-day Saint in the face of a frowning world, and in the midst of trials and troubles and persecution. - Wilford Woodruff, Jan. 31, 1882 

----

Questions 1-8 focused on my activity level and callings in the church. 

Let's just say I'm an active member of the Church. 

9. Which best describes your current situation? Full-time homemaker Part-time homemaker Employed full-time Employed part-time Student Volunteer (not including church service) Other (please specify) 

 -I chose Volunteer 

10. If you are a mother: If you are a mother: Number of children Ages of children at present 

-N/A for me :)

11. Describe what it's like to be a (future) professional Mormon woman. 

Honestly I'm not sure what you are looking for in this question... I assume you're referring to a woman who balances family responsibilities with career responsibilities and responsibilities in church. If that's the case, then I'd say it's a tricky balance. I've worked 60-70 hour weeks and realized that I needed to get my priorities straight. I left a good career to focus on spending my time on things that I'm truly passionate about, that I truly care about. And I don't have kids, and I am not married. But I assume that many mothers have this same decision to make if they can afford it. I feel like I can do anything that I want - that the possibilities are endless, and that I'll be and am happiest focusing on things I care about the most. Focusing on climbing the career ladder seems empty to me. I feel that if I am working at self-improvement in my vocation that I love and am passionate about, then that rise in responsibility happens naturally, without maneuvering or posturing - this has been true in my experience. I'm currently following my dreams and have to keep that perspective as I learn new things, but I love it. 

12. Which of the following publications, if any, do you read? Ensign BYU Studies Dialogue Exponent II Journal of Mormon History Sunstone None of the above Other (please specify) 

I chose Ensign and BYU Magazine 

13. What is it about the publications you chose that resonates with you as a Mormon woman? If you can, please be specific. 

So I initially read the Ensign because I want to be up on the Home and Visiting Teaching messages, but the interesting and relevant articles keep me reading. It seems they reach out to people struggling with depression and mental illness, those who want to deepen relationships with God and family and friends, and reading experiences shared by others in the voices section at the end is always fun actually. I feel uplifted when I read it. I feel the spirit when I read it. 

14. What do you think the role of Church publications should be? Are they playing that role in your opinion? 

I don't have an opinion on what they "should" be... but I'm grateful for what they are - lighter, more current, information and instruction. The conference editions of the Ensigns and the regular monthly ensigns contain very up-to-date counsel. I think they are playing their role very well - that we are lucky to have them. 

15. Which of the following blogs or online sources, if any, do you follow? Feminist Mormon Housewives Exponent II By Common Consent Mormon Stories Bloggernacle Times None of the above Other (please specify) 

 -I chose None of the above (I haven't learned how to find time for blogging) 

16. To what extent do you visit these blogs? Every day Once a week Once a month 2-3 times a year Infrequently N/A Choose one. 

-I chose N/A 

17. Please briefly describe what you believe the mainstream "ideal" image of Mormon womanhood is. 

 I think this is often misconceived or misconstrued. It would include characteristics like the following: capable, intelligent, caring, spiritual, nurturing, skilled (professionally and in the home) but down to earth, flawed, and real; given to serve her family and others and meet their needs. 

18. I feel I fit this image. Strongly Disagree Disagree N/A Agree Strongly Agree Choose one. 

-I chose Strongly Agree

19. In my estimation, most Mormon women fit this image. Strongly Disagree Disagree N/A Agree Strongly Agree Choose one. 

-I chose Strongly Agree 

20. Has this image changed over the course of your involvement in the Church? If so, explain how. 

Honestly, not very much... But society's view of womanhood has certainly changed, and so those who are learning about the church (even from within) see liberality and open-mindedness in concepts of womanhood in the Church as surprising, or new, or as an effort by the women of the church to modernize. "Image" is by definition, completely subjective - it depends on who is holding that image: Mainstream society? Mainstream women who are members of the Church? Mainstream church members in general? I honestly think the core, true identity of women in the church as I tried to describe briefly above has not changed in essence or in substance over the years. Of course, the expression of those qualities has had to change as the world has changed and as its needs have changed. 

21. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes No Somewhat Other (please specify) 

-I chose "Somewhat" 

22. Describe how this label does or does not apply to you. 

There are some aspects and connotations of the term "feminism" with which I cannot sympathize. Yes, we should work for societies that value womanhood without bias and that do not suppress her voice, opportunities, or contributions. Of course we should not create communities, or support social structures where women (or anyone), feel marginalized, oppressed, or taken advantage of, etc. But it seems so much of feminist ideas seem to dictate to women what they must be, how they should feel. We should be supporting them, cheering them, serving them, so they can able determine who they will or will not be--what their own feelings about their role in society can and should be - not enslaving them to a new set of ideals. Part of being a true feminist should even include supporting families and men because by doing so, this strengthens women.  

23. How does your identification (if it applies) as a Mormon feminist impact your interactions and church experiences? 

My feminism or pseudo-feminism strengthens my relationships in all aspects. Because I feel so strongly about the need to support women and families, it enriches my experiences with visiting teaching, in Relief Society meetings, as I teach Relief Society, as I interact with the bishopric in planning music for sacrament meeting, as I plan activities for the mid-single adults in my region. I know my contributions are valued, that they make a difference, and I know it's my responsibility to contribute. I feel extremely fulfilled in my relationships and interactions as part of this church. 

24. How important is it to you to know the history of women in the Church? 1 2 3 4 5 1 being most important; 5 being least important

-I chose 2 

25. Has knowledge about early Church history changed your perspective of women in the Church? If so, how? 

Wow how long is this survey! :) I have taken multiple classes on Church History, read books, etc. This has only served to reinforce my perspective that women can be, and are, so incredibly strong and capable. Of course we studied polygamy, its effects, it's history, that it was extremely difficult for many, etc. The fact that this was a part of our history doesn't mean that all women were oppressed and subjected to private tyranny from which they must escape (as seems so often the case with polygamy now.) I read source material on how, though difficult, women in polygamy often had a great deal of power and independence to become masters of the households and neighborhood economy (since their husbands were so busy working to support, off on missions, visiting different households, etc.). I read source accounts from women that truly appreciated the support of sister-wives in helping to rear children, manage resources, etc. I also read source accounts about how some women hated it and cried all night when their husbands would visit another wife. It was hard. These women were strong. I believe that women today can be just as strong in dealing with the hard situations in which they are placed. 

26. Briefly list some historical events/practices that you find important. 

Creation of Relief Society and it's mission to help the poor, the Relief Society's initiative to bring better healthcare to Utah by sending women to be educated and become doctors and nurses, the Relief Society's creation of a hospital system, the high participation of women in Utah in the women's suffrage movement, the Relief Society's welfare system and grain they donated to the US government, Relief Society publications, Visiting Teaching (which from a feminist point of view is so inspired on so many fronts), and of course, the tradition and emphasis on family. 

27. What would you say to, or ask, Church officials if you were given ten minutes of their undivided attention?  

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" The officials in this church work lovingly, tirelessly, carefully, and prayerfully to administer this Church in the way that God would have them do. They are not perfect, but my life has been blessed immeasurably by having a home in this church. I am so happy here - and no, I am not blind or brainwashed. I would ask, "how can I help this great cause?" I would talk to them about my ideas for supporting the mid-singles of the church and see what they thought. (Branches in Utah, connected to family wards for children, etc.) 

28. Additional comments: 

Sorry if I seemed a little defiant in my comments. I am not sure what the purpose of this survey is, or what it's trying to get at, but I recently read the article in the New York times and and articles by women who have joined the "Ordain Women" movement. And it frustrates me that perceptions about women in the Church of Jesus Christ are often so ignorant, misconstrued, and sensationalized. I sympathize with Ordain Women movement, it was a struggle for me for years to come to terms with men and the priesthood, but I have come to terms completely about it and do not feel slighted or denied in the least. So if I seem defiant, it's just that I want to make sure my opinions are communicated clearly. :)

Encounters with Cougars

So last night around 9:00 pm, I was just tying the last loop of my shoe to go running when I heard my brother Seth come into the house and announce that he had nearly hit a mountain lion on his way home. Seth is a very honest and forthright fellow and we could tell he wasn't lying, so everyone asked where it was and started worrying.

Apparently he nearly hit it with the car along the very same running route I frequent 2-3 times per week. Apparently it was as large as the deer he did hit a few weeks ago. Apparently it was quite large--it's back came up to his hip.

So I considered whether I should follow the same running route... and concluded to take another.

But by the time we had called Animal Control, or "wildlife" as they like to call themselves, and by the time we had discussed all the strategic tactics for defense against lions, it was already 10:00 pm, and I was a little more than trepidatious about the run... I HAD to go though--I couldn't break the schedule! So after Seth declined my invitation for him to follow me in the car while I ran, my sweet dad offered to follow me in the car.

So Seth and Dad grabbed a high powered spot-light and hopped in the car. They wanted to see if they could spot the cougar. And for some reason I started feeling more as though I were live bait than a privileged runner--especially when they stopped following me while I ran through the darkest part of the road, where the cougar probably lay waiting, stalking...

Providentially, I didn't die and my gallant brother and father caught up to me after spotting a fox and guarded me the rest of the way home.

Herriman

Last Friday I went for a quick run before going to a Halloween party. I have to say that running in Herriman is sometimes a sublime experience - not always, but more often than you'd think. I'm going to try and describe it, but it might sound quite cheesy. It was just very nice :)

On Friday it was quite nice. I first noticed the cool October air and decorated yards as I ran through the neighborhood. I love the musty smell of the fallen oak leaves as I ran through the small patch of woods and around the lake, the sunset giving the lake and all the hillsides around a pretty glow in backlit muted browns and blues and yellows and tans. I ran a bit longer than I planned just so I could keep looking at the valley lights and changing colors on the mountains as the sun set--three temples glowing their light. And the mountains are so spectacular just being there! They're huge! The groups of deer I passed weren't scared by my running towards them. They deigned to lift their heads from the grass for a bit, then went back to their feeding. And all this to the very fitting music of Nickel Creek and my other favorite songs (When You Come Back Down, Pastures New...).

It was just very, very beautiful...I wondered how many people get to notice this artwork. We go about our errands and work against this spectacular backdrop, and it probably happens every single day! I need to go running more often :)

Excerpts from my new journal account

Facebook post #2: I love freeways which also double as parking lots. I love them at midnight especially :) Sat at 12:12am via Mobile Texts...
To get back to the facebook update:I drove home on the freeway quite tired already, then ran into some awful traffic. The entire set of cars on the freeway (which were many) came to a halt and for about 1 entire hour, we inched forward every 10 seconds or so. I was so bored and so tired that I put in "Il flauto magico" (which is not italian, but German for the Magic Flute). and though I skipped a few songs, I LISTENED TO THE ENTIRE OPERA without reaching the next freeway exit. Turns out they were moving a bridge onto the freeway. The situation became quite dire as I nodded off every few seconds. I pulled out my phone and wrote the following update:
And they're nice at 1 am... Aack! No they're not! Someone get me out of here! Sat at 12:50amIt was 5-10 minutes after that that we finally started to get moving again. I don't really want to do that again!

Recommitment, Again

So, I have been inspired by this month's Ensign and by Facebook to attempt to keep up in this thing again... I'm always wanting to give really detailed Facebook statuses - but then worried who will read them and be offended, or who might judge them, or just might not want to see them. I guess the nice thing about blogs is no one has to read them! I wonder if I could do a completely private blog, so it would be like a journal - for some reason that seems better than journaling via a Word document. I also want to start a political blog - Politics are so confusing, but maybe if I write out some ideas and people can point out where my logic is weak, it would help me understand better. Maybe an Italian one too to practice, a exercise journal, analyzing relationships - the possibilities are endless!

So to start, I will just expound on my Facebook statuses :)

"So I didn't bite anyone's arm this week, but I did start having an asthma attack during the snake dance, then I went to Thanksgiving point and was scared out of my wits going through the children's 'haunted creature,' followed by much jumping on a bubble thing and eating delicious food. Tonight is Bill and Amber's reception and it comfting that our little band of single friends is breaking apart in such a happy way."

One of the highlights of life over the last few weeks is that I've started participating in a dancing group that will perform at Christmastime. I'm not allowed to post the name of the group online though, but here's a link to the DVD of the performance last year: link :) I think it was something special, and I wish everyone could have been there. (Registration for tickets begins at 12:01 a.m. on October 17 this year ;))

Anyway, dancing brings such balance to my life; I don't know why, but I really, really love it (though I really need to become better). When I don't dance, I feel like what I suppose a musician would feel if they couldn't play for a while. This may sound silly, but I feel like dancing (good dancing) is a way to worship the Creator. Very fulfilling hobby. At this dance group a week and a half ago, we were practicing a Jamaican dance (or as I like to call it, the "asthma attack" dance) which involves flailing arms, dancing rain and sun and running around madly in a circle. And at one point I found my neighboring dancer's arm in my mouth! It was so shocking and so funny. The imprint of my teeth were very clear and a week later she showed me the scar. It wasn't awful, but it surprised me that she still had a mark after a week. Thus my clever aunt suggested renaming my dance as the "snake dance."

Wow, I'm already running out of time, but as for the rest of the Facebook post, I was lucky enough to be asked out on a date where we went to Cornbelly's at Thanksgiving Point and then made tin foil dinners. I am not the biggest fan of haunted things, especially haunted houses, but this was a family-friendly venue, and when I saw the blown up balloon of a large lizard thing for children, I thought it would be fun to go inside. At first it was just what I expected...they made the inflated walls and fixtures inside to look like the throat and stomach (and intestines!!) of some kind of a lizard and it was entertaining and very twisty. But then people started jumping out at us from behind corners. I was so unprepared for that, and screamed a lot more than I had planned. They also had a lot of activities - it reminded me of a carnival - and one was a kind of inverted set of trampolines, except they were on the ground - blown up and made of plastic. It was fun (and a work out) to bounce around on those. It was funner to me to see the creative games the groups came up with on it. One group (I guessed they were from BYU) were playing dead man's bluff - I'm not sure that's what it's called, but one guy lay on the plastic while 7-10 people all jumped around him trying to make him bounce as high as possible. (This was one of my favorite games when I was 10.)

Finally, last night, I went to Bill and Amber's reception - maybe if they post their pictures I can post a link or something (realizing I need to learn more about how to do all this stuff). For a while there it seemed like our group of friends (mostly from high school) would never get married. But as each has been getting married - each time it renews hope for the rest of us - at least me - that it is possible, it does happen somehow, and it might happen for me too :)

Anyway, that's all for today. So much more I could write...

So part of the reason that I never post any blogs is a strange, recurring phenomenon - I come to this very page (not the one you're looking at), this "posting" page, and see the blank text box. And then my mind goes blank. I think my mind mimics what it sees and reads. Next time I try to post something, I will type while looking at something witty, engaging, and heart-warming.

But here is the quick update on my life: Saturday, I turned in a good portion of the work I was doing in India. I'm sadly behind, but not surprised! My mom has been sick now going on week 3 or 4 and it's so wierd, because she's usually the most healthy one! So hopefully she'll get better soon! And Thanksgiving is this week. Anyway, the blank blogger brain syndrome is weighing down on me. There is lots I could say, but it seems wierd to publish all my thoughts on the internet. So I'll promise to write more later :)

Lame

So, I realize I am a lame blogger since I never post anything new. It has been so busy and harder to have something ready for a computer than I thought. Yesterday, we said farewell to the family we have been staying with the last few months and clumsily boarded a few buses and 5 hours later, we were here in Madurai and exploring the huge temple complex they have here. I just came from there and wish I had a degree in Ancient South Indian Temples and their Symbols. We went at just the right time, people all over the place, the air was cool, but the stones under our feet were still warm from the sun before. At one point, Jay and I walked down a few hallways that seemed pretty deserted, and the carvings seemed really, really old - I can only compare with carvings I saw in Italy, but the climate probably also made a difference with these. Anyway, it was nice and peaceful - at least in those hallways...then, a half-level up from one of the hallways, there was a meditation hall, not 5 minutes did we sit there, when a very large processional of people, including a decked out cow and a decked out elephant and a decked out god being carried on the shoulders of several men came down the hallway. There were drummers and singers and horn players and "drone" players (small bagpipe/organ thing) and people carrying torches. All that with the tall carved dark stone pillars really made me feel like I was living an Indiana Jones story or something. Who knew places like this really still do exist? Anyway, i am going to keep my blogs short so I write more often.

My brother Jeffrey left Tuesday afternoon (for me)/morning (Utah time) for the good land of Brazil - I had a long call - I think the longest the shopkeepers had seen and it was really nice to talk with him for a bit. He will be good - he'll have an awesome experience. Well I have got to leave. All my love :)